I am sick.
I can either sit here hacking up a lung, WebMDing phrases like “Can you cough a hole into your throat?” and convincing myself I’m dying of a rare flu because a rabid bird/pig tragically spit in my mouth at some point without me noticing, OR I can continue to be distracted by this vast, sparkling, social-media sea of self-importance before me. Hello, Tumblr.